POLYGAMY
by : Aneh Manis
A life of human is very unique,
conflicts, feelings, emotions, minds and many others, all of it makes a human’s
life is unique. Human’s life never far with name of problems. It could be
problem of love, friends, economic, uncertain, fail to get the dreams, fight,
irresponsibility, job, family and many others. But, of course each problem has
a solution. It is depends on us how the way we solve it. And lets talk the
problem of love, which is today many teenagers and also man and woman has a
problem of love.
Love is very close with our life,
our times, our days, months, years and each second in our life there is a
love. The hottest problem of love today
is dishonest (third person). It is the big problem in the love. Third person
make a couple break the relationship between them. It is because dishonest
(selingkuh) very hurt. Sometimes, this problem makes one of the couple man or
woman suicides. So, what will we do to solve it?
The problem of third person in love
not only happen it teenagers or someone who is not in marriage, but also happen
in the couple who was in marriage or has family. So now, let’s talk the problem
of third person in love that happen in couple who was in marriage. No answers
why it is happened. It could be because boring, irresponsibility, unsuitable,
economic, unhappy and so many reasons why it is happened, but is it true or
not, honest or lie, its still a secret of heart.
In
Islam we know that man may marry more than one woman if he can fair with his
wives. We usually call it polygamy, which is today become one of issue in this
life. According to the Muslim holy book, the Qoran, a man may have up to four
wives at any one time as long as he provides equally for each wife. It is mean
that a man may have two or three wives. And polygamy is one of the ways to
solve the problem third person or dishonest in love, especially in couple who
was married.
Today
polygamy becomes very famous in our society. In movie, music, novel and short
story talk about polygamy. Like HER short story by Titis Basino, one of the
woman writers in Indonesia. Titis Basino was born in Magelang, Indonesia on
January 17, 1939. She graduated from the University of Indonesia in 1962. In
1963 she was introduced to Indonesian readers when one of her short stories was
published in the Indonesian literary magazine, Sastra. She continued to write
until she creates HER short story.
Each
short story has a narrative aspects, one of the narrative aspects of short
story is conflicts. Conflict is an inherent incompatibility between the objectives of two or more characters or forces.
Conflict creates tension and interest in a story by adding doubt as to the
outcome. Now let’s see the conflicts of HER short story.
The
conflicts of HER short story happened to Mr. Hamid and Mrs. Hamid. Here, Mr.
Hamid wants to marry again. He do that because he has a reasons why he wants
marry again, like in their conversation when Mrs. Hamid ask about it.
"So
you married her?"
"Yes,
why not?"
"Couldn’t
you have stopped short of marriage? You already have one wife. I can deal with
all your needs, can’t I?"
"Are
you sure of that?"
"Aren’t
I enough to make you happy? I’ve already given you children, an organized
household, home-cooked meals, immaculate clothes, a warm and ready welcome for
you and all your friends. All you’ve ever wanted I’ve given you before you’ve
had to ask twice. Think about it." I droned on in my maternal tone while
he remained silent, giving no response at all. "Aren’t you embarrassed in
front of the children?"
"Of
course, you’re right, but do I have to thank you for all these things? I don’t
expect you to understand because you can’t look beyond the tremendous effort
you’ve put into this marriage, which nevertheless has failed. I’m not satisfied
with this life any longer. I’m tired of waiting for you to take an interest in
something, like a club or anything outside of this family. Surely you must be
aware that I’ve been encouraging you to do this for some time. I used to ask
you to join me in some activity away from home, but you always laughed at my
attempts. You seem to forget that when I fell in love with you, you were an
involved and interesting woman."
Mr.
Hamid very disappointed to his wives, when he wants to ask Mrs. Hamid to join
in some activity away from home, Mrs. Hamid only laughs and refuse it. Actually
Mr. Hamid has another reason why, but he does not want to say it “"No,
there are other reasons, but I don’t feel that I must itemize them for you.
They would be much too painful for you to hear."
The
conflict of this short story only happened to Mrs. Hamid itself. She feels very
hurt when her husband wants to marry another woman, but she doesn’t know what
to do. Although she makes an understanding to her husband such said;
"Aren’t I enough to make you happy? I’ve
already given you children, an organized household, home-cooked meals,
immaculate clothes, a warm and ready welcome for you and all your friends. All
you’ve ever wanted I’ve given you before you’ve had to ask twice. Think about
it." I droned on in my maternal tone while he remained silent, giving no
response at all. "Aren’t you embarrassed in front of the children?"
But, the decision of
her husband still wants to marry another woman.
Finally,
Mrs. Hamid receives it. She believed that her husband had the right to practice
polygamy, and this was a test of her tolerance for this practice. She stated,
"I devoutly believed that as a woman I was destined to accept and to
protect. Had I not believed that, and also considered the fate of my children,
I would merely have asked for a divorce and left him." She felt that as a
woman and mother, she had an obligation to care for both her husband and
family. She sacrificed her own interests and suppressed her feelings to
"maintain this charade." Islam permeates Indonesian culture and
society, and a devout Muslim adheres to its guidelines. Since polygamy is
allowed for Muslim males, Mr. Hamid was not breaking any law, and in fact had
every right to marry another person without consent or permission from his
wife.
So,
fate of wives to receive her husband practice polygamy is one of the issues too
in our society, because what the women do to against polygamy it still useless.
Because Islam may a man marry more than one woman. Like in holy Quran said;
(#qßsÅ3R$$sù $tB z>$sÛ Nä3s9 z`ÏiB Ïä!$|¡ÏiY9$# 4Óo_÷WtB y]»n=èOur yì»t/â‘ur ( ÷bÎ*sù óOçFøÿÅz žwr& (#qä9ω÷ès? ¸oy‰Ïnºuqsù .
“ Maka kawinilah wanita-wanita (lain) yang
kamu senangi : dua, tiga atau empat. kemudian jika kamu takut tidak akan dapat
Berlaku adil[265], Maka (kawinilah) seorang saja”.
'Marry
woman of your choice in twos' threes' or fours' but if ye fear that ye shall
not be able to deal justly, (with them), then only one' [Al-Qur'an 4:3].
So, it is your job as a woman to
make your husband still loving you forever. Let’s do the best for your husband.
Good attitude, do what he wants, respect to him, love him, and make him feel
happy and peace beside you.
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